How I Taught My Cat, Whiskers, to Come When Called

Happy New Year,

You Cat Owners Will LUV this Because You Will Finally be Able to CONTROL YOUR CAT.

Somewhat.

We can't Promise You a MIRACLE.

Just an HOUR LONG -- Truce with your Cat.

FIRST I need to Establish My Status as CAT EXPERT.

Yeah Yeah.

No such Thing.

I agree.

But SHAME on us if we Can't OUT-THINK our Cats.

When I was a Kid I remember Walking across our hills with 6 kittens Following me. I was a kid Cat Whisperer.

Naaa!

Not Really. The Kittens Knew the Source of The FOOD. Followed me Everywhere.

YES, REALLY.

Our Family Really -- REally -- REALLY Shopped For Cats Differently than You Do.

I BetCha.

We'd go to a local Butcher Shop. Or a nearby Dairy Farmer and Ask for a kitten.

Pretty Cat?

Well Behaved Cat?

A Cat With a Pedigree?

An Indoor Cat?

A Cat With all Their Shots?

NOPE.

None of that stuff.

We said, "Which Kitten, do you have, that Is The Craziest, GOOFIEST, Most Insane and Out of Control MONSTER You've Ever Seen?"

And we'd Take THAT CAT.

CAT TRAINING?

I aman Expert in 30 second Cat Training.

STEP I -- You Carry The Cat from Car to the Porch. (Tiny claws imbedded in your Shirt.)

STEP II -- You Stick The Kittens NOSE in a saucer of Milk -- sitting on the Porch.

STEP III -- You Let The Cat Go. He runs like Crazy. Disappears.

STEP IV -- But Not For Long. The New Kitten Remembers Where the food is!

We Got "FLIP" this way.

"FLIP" Was Crazy. And Grew to become a 35 Pound Monster. "Flips idea of fun. He LOVED to Jump off the Woodpile onto the backs of Visiting Dogs. CLAW the Dogs Back to Shreds. Make 'em run HOWLING.

"SPOT" was the Cat with No Common Sense or Sense of Direction. He would follow us while we Fixed Fence. Tractor and wagon -- meowing while he walked behind us -- down into the woods.

When we Got Back Home. Asked, "Where is SPOT?"

I'd say, "Not again! I know where." And Walk back to where we were working. There would be That Stupid Cat. Sitting there waiting to be Carried home.

"BOOMERANG" was Named because of a WEIRD HABIT. While we Were Trimming Fruit Trees. Or picking apples or plums or Cherries BOOMERANG would Climb the Tree Trunk.

Walk out on the limb we were Working on. Until We Grabbed Him when he was Dangling by his front claws.

Then when He was put on the Ground. Back up the Tree he went. Over and over again.

"WHISKERS" was a huge Challenge. She was Tossed out of a Car. Pregnant with kittens. We Caught her in a Humane Trap set to catch Groundhogs. An Ear of Cooked Corn for bait.

I carried the Entire Trap from the Garden over to our porch. Fed Her. Showed her Where the food Bowl was. Dusted her With MANGE POWDER. Then let her go.

Stuffed some T-shirts in an Old Cat House.

And one Day (It took Weeks) -- Here Comes Whiskers Carrying Her "Kittens" Hanging by the Scruff of their Necks over to the Porch. One by one.

Closer to the Food.

Ok.

READY for My CAT CONTROL SECRET?

Seems to Work With Every Cat.

Remember.

It's Just Temporary. And There is a HAZARD. We'll Get to that.

CAT CONTROL DIRECTIONS --

1st -- Since Your Cat Pretends to IGNORE YOU. You IGNORE him or her Back.

2nd -- You Might Pat their Head. Scratch Their Neck. Then You Sit Down and IGNORE them.

3rd -- You Might Agree This Works Best (and Longest) in The Fall. Because when I sit down with my back against the Brick wall. In the Autumn Sun. Pet the Cat. Then IGNORE Him.

4th -- The CAT Always Comes over to Get MORE ATTENTION. Cats Really HATE to be IGNORED.

5th -- When Your Cat Starts Nuzzling your Knee. THAT IS THE SIGNAL. (You are sitting in a Legs Folded -- Yoga -- Like -- Position.

6th -- You Pick The Cat Up. Put him in Your Warm Lap. And Stroke his Fur. Nose to neck. Maybe Scratch behind his ears. Cats Hate it when You Touch Their Tail. So -- no Full Body Petting.

BESIDES -- You can Create Static Electricity. And Your Cat Will HATE that too.

7th -- After a Couple Times where you Do the IGNORE, pet the Head, Scratch The ears, IGNORE and Sit-Cross-Legged Nearby -- Tactic.

Your Cat Will REMEMBER sitting in your Warm Lap -- Getting Some TLC.

And Come over and Jump in Your LAP.

Every

Single

Time

You

Sit Down in a Quiet Spot -- Nearby Where The Cat Is Doing it's Best To IGNORE YOU.

A STRONG SUGGESTION:

Sit somewhere with a good view. 180 Degree View if you can Manage it.

THE REASON WHY?

If You watch Your Cats EARS -- Much better than Ours -- Like RADAR You can Spot insects and Birds and Movement -- around you that you normally would NEVER NOTICE.

THE HAZARD I mentioned?

One Day I was Sitting on top of Our WoodPile in the Sun.

WHISKERS Came along.

Climbed up the side of the wood pile.

Sat down in my Lap.

We Sat there in the Chilly Autumn sun for 10 minutes Until I spotted Both of Whiskers Ears MOVING Like Radar Antennas.

NEXT thing I saw a Chipmunk Come out from under the woodpile.

REMEMBER Whiskers was an Outdoor Cat?

We Rescued Her when she was Wild -- Out Hunting to feed her Kittens.

Before I Could Move -- Whiskers DUG 4 Sets of CLAWS into My LEG. Leaped off the Woodpile. Caught and Killed the Unsuspecting Chipmunk.

Proudly carried the dead varmint over to the porch to feed her Brood some Raw Meat.

ME?

I went to the House.

Took my pants off.

Treated The Trail of Cat -- Claw -- Tracks Down my leg With Iodine.

Thanks,

Glenn

P.S. -- DOGS are Totally Different. Dog Owners. You Control Your Dog By Becoming the LEADER of Their Pack. Check out our Medium Article where we Turned a BORED -- Special Forces Soldier into a Instant Dog Trainer . His ONLY Expertise?

Showing Your Dog Who is Boss. You Become Their Pack Leader.