How Roger Won A Date w/a Girl in a Bible Give-Away Contest

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Dear Friend,

Roger called me up and said, "I have a Chance to get a date with a beautiful girl in Church. But I have to Win a Bible Give Away Contest. Then I get the Fancy Restaurant, Movie Tickets and Limo Service Prize."

I said, "Wait. Wait. Slow Down."

"Explain it again, but slower."

Turns out the Minister at his Church is Sponsoring a Bible Give Away Contest. The Winner Gets Tickets for 2 to a Up-Scale Restaurant. 2 Movie Tickets. And Free Limo Service.

I Couldn't Believe it.

But I asked, "What are the Rules for this contest?"

Roger Tells me:

"There are no Rules; not Really. But we all stay together. We Go Out Together After the Evening Service to a Busy Road. Bright street Lights. Four-way Red Lights at a Busy Intersection. We're Supposed to Walk up to Cars at the Stop Lights. Give Away Bibles."

Roger sounded Frustrated.

"But when people see me holding up a Bible they Lock Their Doors. Roll up their Windows. I can't even Talk to them!"

ME -- "Ok. Ok. I Understand The Problem. You Don't have enough money to Ask This Girl on a date. But if you Win The Bible Contest You can Ask her out."

ROGER -- "YES, exactly."

ME -- "Ok. The "Mormons and The "Jahovah's Witness Church are your Problem. The people in cars think you are one of those PESTS who knock on their doors at Home. And Quote Bible Verses at Them."

ME -- "How Many Bibles do You Have to Give Away to Win?"

ROGER -- "Fifty will do it."

ME -- "Ok. Do You have Fifty bucks?"

ROGER -- "Yes."

ME -- "Good. This idea is adapted from a Millionaire Real Estate Investor who knocks on doors. Here's what you can do to win. First of all. Do not tell the Minister or anyone else you are Bribing people to Take a Bible."

ME -- Next -- what you do is -- When you walk towards the Car at the RedLight at night -- You HOLD UP A LOTTO Ticket. You Hold it 2 feet away from the car Window. You Make a "CRANK YOUR WINDOW DOWN MOTION" with your arm."

ME -- When they Wind Their Window Down -- YOU SAY, "I will Pay you a LOTTO ticket if you Take a Free Bible. If I am Trying to Win a Bible Give Away contest so I can Get a Date with a Girl at Church."

ME -- "The Car Driver will Laugh. Empathize with you. Then Take the Lotto Ticket. And The Bible. And Drive Away."

ROGER -- "Ok. That might work."

ME -- "I am sure of it. I just helped a College Guy with a similar problem. He bought a couple dozen Red Roses. Tried to give them away to Coeds in his Music Class. But The Girls RAN AWAY.

ROGER -- "Why did The Girls Run Away from a Flower?"

ME -- Girls know that when a Guy tries to GIFT them with a Rose -- They WANT SOMETHING!

ROGER -- "So what was The Solution?"

ME -- I Told Eric to Hold Up The Rose And Say, "I'm Celebrating My Mothers Birthday. Please Take a Rose."

ME -- The Girls Said, "Awww. That's so sweet." And Took a rose.

ME -- "See? Eric and his Roses had Almost the same problem you are having.

"I interviewed A Millionaire who buys houses by knocking on doors. He holds up a LOTTO ticket. This gets The owner of a Foreclosed home to open the door. So He Can TALK to Them. Without the LOTTO Bribe people think he is another Rascal trying to Steal Their House."

ROGERS RESULT?

Roger won the Bible Contest that Night. He gave away more Bibles than the Rest of the Kids Combined.

And the Girl Said, "YES."

Thanks,

Glenn

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