How The Architecture Outside A Library Almost Got Me Killed

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Howdy,

Have You Ever Been Inspired to Try Something New?

Well.

While Watching TV I got The URGE to Try Rock Climbing.

Never Done it before.

Tried Rappeling in Phys Ed in College. Sprained my wrist.

But still.

It looked easy.

A 60 Minutes TV Program about a Rock Climber Got me Thinking. I had a Brainstorm!

I know where there is a "Rock Chimney" I Can Test Climb.

For you "Non-Experts" out there.

A "Rock Chimney" is a narrow gap in the Rock. The PIC at the Top of this article is a narrow CRACK -- TYPE Rock Chimney.

You stick your fingers into the CRACK.

Then Climb.

I had just started a Job as Maintenance Supervisor for a University. Since I love to read I toddled down to the Campus Library. Got a Library Card.

Went out onto the back deck.

I Looked out over a shallow man-made lake with Gold Fish in it.

I knew an ODD FACT about the Gold Fish. One of The College Guys with a pet Piranha-Meat-Eating-Fish caught Gold Fish out of this lake.

Pretty Gross.

Parts of the Piranha dinner: Dead Gold Fish, would be floating in the Large, 5 foot long, tank.

But Not As Disgusting as the Kid who caught a Snapping Turtle. Cut off his head. Cooked it for 3 Days in a Giant Turkey roaster. Boiling water and Blood shooting all over the Kitchen walls. We had to clean up his mess.

BACK AT THE LAKE...

While I was Perusing the Lake View I noticed a Narrow Chimney. The side of the Brick Veranda and the Cement Wall of the Library formed a Chute. All the way to the ground.

So The Day After I Learned HOW-To-Do-Rock-Climbing on TV, I came to Work Early.

Nobody Parked in the Library Parking Lot.

Chilly. Damp. Kinda Dark. Sun Just coming up. Looking around Carefully -- I walked all the way around the side of the Library. Came to a Smooth Concrete Berm.

Lake water. Concrete Berm. White Concrete Side of The Building.

So Naturally, I tip toed out along the steeply sloping Concrete Berm. My back to the wall. The Berm was sloped at a 45 Degree angle.

One false step and SPLASH.

When I got to the "Rock Climbers Chute" I faced a Conundrum. My Hands fit one side of the Chute Perfectly. But the Side I was supposed to Rest my Back on. The side I needed to create the "Dynamic Tension" to shinny up the Chute on...

...Was Too High off the Ground.

I Should Mention here that I am a Country Boy. Some of my "Entertainment" when I was younger was climbing big trees. Five foot thick trees.

Once I Chased a Squirrel up to the top of a Giant Oak.

Mr Squirrel Was A Nervous Wreck above me.

So Nervous he Jumped!

If it were you or me we would have gone SPLAT. But the squirrel bounced! Staggered around a bit. Then scampered off.

With all this Tree climbing expertise I decided I Could do this.

I Would JUMP.

IF I Jumped so my Back Was to the Building Wall. Outstretched Arms rigid in front. I could INCH my way up the "Rock Chute" just like on TV.'

I Jumped.

I Had Immediate Regrets!

Suddenly I was HANGING over a 45 Degree Slab of Concrete! If I tried to Step Down I'd roll into the lake.

So I started up.

Looking up was Daunting too.

YIKES it was a long way to the top.

Didn't look like much from above or below. But when you are hanging there in mid-Air. Let me tell you it got MY Adrenaline flowing.

I was Sweating pretty good too.

After losing Mucho Skin off my hands. I got to the top. Grabbed the metal railing. Pulled myself onto the Giant Cement Porch over-Hanging the lake.

Got my Shirt tucked back in neatly.

Hair combed.

Sweat wiped off My Face with a handkerchief.

Walked over to the big double doors into the Library. Tried the handle.

LOCKED!

Embarrassing.

I Didn't wanna be late for work. So I had to stand there like a fool. Bang on the door. Until the Night Shift Security Guard Came and Let me in.

HE HAD QUESTIONS.

I Remember Vividly. The Security guard asked, "How did you get out there? I Didn't see you. I've been here all night?"

I said something stupid like, "I was Talking to a guy out there. And Decided to Come in. But the door was locked."

While the Guard went outside to look for "The Invisible Man."

I HOOFED it to the front door and out!

For several years afterwards that Guard Looked at me "Funny."

What is The Moral of this Story?

The "Lesson Learned?"

BE CURIOUS!

Looking on the Positive side of things. I Didn't fall. Didn't break my arms and legs. Didn't drown in the lake.

And Because I was Curious about how things "Work" I got Promoted fast. "Maintenance Supervisor. Then "Temporary Housekeeping Supervisor. "

I watched some Janitorial videos. "Trained my Team to Shampoo Carpet." The University Quit paying a contractor 300 Grand to clean carpet. Handed us the job.

Then "Assistant Director of Housing -- with 800 employees.

Thanks for Listening,

Glenn Osborn

P.S. -- I should mention I Have NEVER, EVER Shared this story before. But now that I run my own Consulting Biz. 20 years later. It's funny. Kinda. Not sure. I'm still too close to it.