My GunSlinger ShootOut w/A Stink Bug

Happy New Year,

Thanks to a Sunny Day Here In Maryland (Sunny and 40 degrees)
I went out and Split a Truck Load of Cherry Wood.

Drove it up to the Porch.

Unloaded it and Covered it up with a Tarp.

Brought ONE LOG Inside.

Just One.

But it had a STINK BUG Hiding on it.

My FIRST SHOT -- I see Mr Stink Bug Flying towards the Sliding Glass Doors. (Towards the sunlight.)

I hear him HIT the Glass. But can't find him.

My 2nd SHOT -- later that Night Mr Stink Bug Follows me into My Office. I can hear him DIVE BOMBING me in Circles.

And He lands several times. But never Where I can SEE him.

3rd SHOT -- Back in the Family Room- I am Reading a Book by the Light of my SOLAR LED LAMP. The Little SOB
Circles and Circles. Then Lands on my HEAD!

I carefully take off my knit cap.

AHA!

I grab a kleenex -- to Keep the Stink off my hands. Ball him up in it. Careful not to Crush his body.

The smell won't come off your hands. And stays in a room for
hours.

4th SHOT -- Toss The Wadded Up Kleenex into the Stove Between Two Logs. AND It DOES NOT BURN!

Oh No!

This is Bad.

Stink Bugs Dive Down my Chimney and Crawl out of the Chimney Insert -- Constantly -- when the fire is out.

5th SHOT -- So I toss some more kleenex in on top. Rush over and Get A box of Kitchen Matches. And Light Mr Stink Bug On FIRE.

The Little PEST Burns to a Crisp.

YIPPEE for Persistence.

(EDITORS NOTE -- For you Folks Who think I am Being NEEDLESSLY Cruel to Stink Bugs.

FIRST -- They eat Billions worth of Crops.

SECOND -- Stink Bugs Eat holes in my Green Tomatoes Before they are Ripe enough for ME to eat!

THIRD -- The Sneaky Little Rascals -- Congregate outside my back door. Try to Fly inside every Time I come in or out. They Deserve to DIE UGLY.)

Thanks,
Glenn